Sweet Suicide
by NinjaKana
Summary: That little voice kept nagging, 'Do it, just do it' L wanted to submit, but could he bring himself to? T for now. Trying to have NO PAIRINGS but review of you want some. New chapter up! Forshadowing.OLD. Author dropped this. Dislikes
1. Blue Jeans and Nightmares:Pre Story

**A random story I'm writing because of views on the world, life itself, and out of compassion for a friend who is having a hard time.**

**---------------------------------------------------------**

**That little voice kept nagging, 'Do it, just do it' L wanted to submit, but could he bring himself to? **

**Sweet Suicide**

Life was miserable. No friends, or at least it felt that way. Unending paranoia. Close aquaintences dieing and doing things that are immoral.

Ryuzaki hated it. The whole damn world was like this too. Teens, adults, even children thinking that they were meaningless.

Ryuzaki was still only young himself, seventeen and a huge opportunity to fix the world. Ryuzaki was to become L, a detective who would change the world. But was it really worth it?

Everyone is so selfish, so arrogant and conceded. Playing and thriving off another's fear or regret. The world's population was large, and had innumerable issues to deal with.

Even Ryuzaki was selfish, he was thinking he would decline the offer to be a great asset to the world, or at least put it off for a few years and let the globe ferment in its self created hell. He was putting himself first, he knew it too.

Watari was not going to let Ryuzaki be selfish though. He refused to let Ryuzaki do that.

Now Ryuzaki had to deal with school, the emotional and social strain of being his age, and he had to balance the world on his shoulders.

-------------------------------------------------------------

'Another late night', Ryzaki thought looking at the clock shining the time, 1:26 am, in hideous green flourescent and incandescent paint.

"I need more time-and more energy" He sighed as he stood, "Time to rumage the kitchen" he finished with an aggravated smirk.

Ryuzaki was so sapped of his energy. Three straight nights of nothing but school work and cases from India, France, Mexico, all these places where mass murders and mysteries were going unsolved because certain teachers decided to pile the load of homework on the seventeen year old genius. And only because he fell asleep in class after pulling thirty-six hours straight to finish a troubling case on the murders of sixteen school aged children in Belgium.

Walking bare foot, a new habit caused by Ryuzaki's continuing stress caused paranoia, into the kitchen, he stopped at the cupboard to grab some cookies and a tea sachet. Walking to another cupboard on the parallel side of the kitchen to aquire his mug for tea and dish for sweets, he filled a kettle and began to boil the water. Ryuzaki's stomach rumbled in protest to the poor food choices over the past month since being designated as 'L'. He really had no choice, the pure drive that he got from ingesting all that sugar was what kept him going.

Grabbing a few more necessities; cake, sugar for his tea, some milk, a handful of mints and other assorted hard candies, and some gum, Ryuzaki retreated to his room.

Opening up his history text book, he simultaneously wrote his thesis essay and studied for the chapter quiz while researching a case in Egypt on mysterious robberies where only women's dresses and men's wrist watches were stolen.

Lying stomach down Ryuzaki indulged in his cake as he took a momentary rest before staring at the putrid lime luminescent numbers signalling that it was a mere three and four sixths hours away from breakfast. Ryuzaki sighed heavily and piled all his notes to one side while arranging his evidence on the other.

Streaching briefly, a large pile of unwashed laundry met his eyes. He then let his gaze drift to his open closet, the only thing hanging there was the blue jeans he had been wearing earlier and a clean white shirt. Scratching his head in an expression of exhaustion he shrugged and climbed into bed, taking the last piece of his late night snack to eat silently. A strawberry. He finished it off quickly and rolled about trying to get comfortable. Once that was achieved, Ryuzaki promptly fell into an uneasy sleep filled with insane parabola and quadratic equations being dictated by many great legends in history.

Unknowingly, during his tortured dreams, Ryuzaki slid his thumb between his lips and was biting his nail, which slowly stopped as his thumb slid further into his mouth, giving him the look of a completely worn out toddler.

------------------------------------------------------

**Kinda lame and weak beginning. Please review and tell me how it is so far. Also I would love to know of you want any pairings. I want to stear away from shonen'ai for a bit. **

**Oh and sadly to say, yes my naruto fan fictions are on hiatus because I have a major writer's block for them.**

**Please also, just FYI I wrote this at like 11:30 at night, and I didn't really spend much time on it. I apologise for the shortness, and I do hope to complete this (or another story or two) soon!**

**-Ka-chan **


	2. Chapter: 0 The Beginning

**Second chapter. Written quickly and late at night. -sigh- This chappie basically sucks and is like a summary of what I will go into detail of. Please review and help me out, I love reading reviews and they do help me alot.**

**Oh and just a note about my other stories, I'm hoping to get them all updated over the holidays.**

**And I guess, a necessity; I don't own Death Note, if I did, many people would die earlier, and be shown earlier, and it would be, like, completely different.**

Falling asleep with the look of an exhausted toddler. Dreams filled with math, history and self hatred.

Sweet Suicide

Chapter 2

Ryuzaki had only managed to retreive a small amount of restful slumber, most of it was defeated by aching muscles from lack of exsercise, a head filled with school work and cases, an upset stomach from too many sweets, and a dead feeling in the center of his heart.

When he awoke the next day looking like the undead. He got up and hauled himself down to the cafeteria after getting his morning routine over with. Guessing he had OCD Ryuzaki was used to his incredibly strict routine; Wake up at 6:32 am, Brush teeth while showering, eat as swiftly as possible and get to class as early as possible and finish homework or read. He also thought he may have been over analysing, but Ryuzaki didn't have as much time as he wished to go further into the depths of his mental state.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

These things carried on into his twenties, and soon he was used to the abundance of problems flocking to him in hopes to be resolved. Still with a similar routine, adjusted slightly to each case, Ryuzaki lead his life.

Now he was dealing with one of the biggest threats to the world, a mysterious killer who acted upon his thoughts of ritcheousness. This killer, was trying to play┘ God. The whole thing started in 2003, it seemed like it would be another normal year of crime fighting for Ryuzaki. Heh, 'crime fighting' he hated saying he did that, he felt like some delusional super hero. In all truth, he was a lame guy who was kinda smart. He hated it.

He hated being ostracised and praised for a bizarre attention to detail and the higher I.Q. Ryuzaki hated it all. He even hated how he looked. He knew how stupid it was to care, nobody really ever saw him. He knew a man his age, although quite young, so obsessed with his image seemed beyond odd. Ususally only the fragile minded and hormonally distressed worried about that, and most people who were in that area were teenage girls. He felt so stupid. He was stupid, in his mind. He knew all these things relied upon him, and he was intelligent and an essential part of the world, but inside, he hated himself so much. Knowing that it was just his mind depended upon by the globe, he refused to sleep so he could keep learning. He took naps and essential times to sleep, but not very often at all. He neglected himself.

He would be sitting up at insane hours in the morning, researching information and ignoring the pains from his sleep deprived body, ignoring the harsh grumbling and groans of his abused system. He knew what effects it would have, he didn;t really care, but now he had all these alien entities around him. The task force... It was so awkward, they found his diet and actions strange to say the least. Ryuzaki knew what they thought. It terrified him.

He was being forced to do things he never wanted to do. The constant pressure of the task force had gotten him to eat at regular times, and rest more frequently. It completely threw off his internal balance. It was so much harder to keep going, and even moreso with an eighteen year old male, suspected of mass murder on a global scale. It was so much harder to act normally. He was so drained, but he couldn't let his guard down around a suspect, especially if they have the ability to kill with a name and face.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Another never ending day met Ryuzaki, this was, about halfway through week three of being chained to Kira suspect, Yagami Raito. The genius noted the boy was also struggling to keep up the pace, and Ryuzaki only wished he was as tired as Raito, and not seventy five and seven eighths percent more exhausted. He needed to get rid of this child, baby sitting was not his idea of control and routine. He needed to get away from this boy. He did get a few hours a day. They had separate rooms with a special door that had a camera to monitor Raito in his room, and allowed for the chain to be lengthened so both had free movement. Ryuzaki usually took that time to attend to his personal needs, such as bathing, and getting what he could under control.

Watari had noticed a few things Ryuzaki had scolded himself for not thinking of correctly. Watari had noticed a few things out of place, and used. Now this time he was supposedly alone, was shortened. He was allowed an hour every two days in this special room with the door between himself and his burden, but now he was also being monitored by Watari.

So many things he had lost control of. Ryuzaki was slipping into an anger he had to control. He couldn't really handle it though, so during his time alone, apart from the boy, he would break things in his room, he would distroy and damage anything within reach, sometimes even himself.

The only one who knew for sure what was happening, aside from the poor boy himself, was Watari, and it was a horrible thing to have to see Ryuzaki go through. Every day he could, he did. Every chance he got, he seized. Watari was getting fed up, but sat and watched the young man distroy his life.

All the while, Raito heard the crying, screaming, yelling, gagging, and sobs of pain through the slab of wood and it's little chain hole, between them.


	3. ANNOUNCEMENT

**This is an announcement about my stories.**

**The full details are on my profile. This is just stating that I will be continuing this fic and editing the previous chapter(s) and possible adding some. The update will be complete after another chapter is added.**

**Sorry for any inconvenience and thanks for being a reader ;)**


End file.
